I'm sure Chiquita will be reading my blog so I'll offer the disclaimer that I am not advocating the complete ceasing of banana buying in advance. I now return you to the regularly scheduled blog...
As you may or may not know, B moved out a couple of weeks ago. After having lived with us for over a year it had become habit to shop for certain things. One of those items was bananas. Between the three men in the house it was not uncommon to go through two or even three bunches in week. Most of those were consumed by B, who'd eat them for breakfast and as a post workout snack. However, since he's gone I have found myself having to freeze or throw out bananas because we just aren't going through them as quickly. I've still been buying the same amount because I'm just not used to him not being here. And maybe, subconciously, I'm buying them hoping he comes back. But doing so is a waste. It's living in the past and dreaming of what might bes. I need to live in the what is so that I don't miss the good things that are happening now. Yes, things are different but it doesn't mean they're bad. If I keep buying things because of what was then I'm wasting the things learned from that time (in addition to wasting money). B is doing fine. We still talk all the time and he comes to visit. Life 'is' going on.
Maybe I'm overgeneralizing (and I know I'm prone to that sometimes) but this week I was reminded of how important it is to acknowledge and appreciate the 'what is'.
I went to a memorial service for a friend that I'd grown up with but hadn't seen for probably 20 years, with the exception of Facebook where we'd had the opportunity to chat a couple of times. At the service I was struck by the fact that the only people my age that were there were those of us that had known her as kids. There were friends of her parents and other family members but no one that appeared to be her contemporaries. Her biography in the program talked about her childhood and high school accomplishments in detail. But for the last 20 years the only things that were said were that she worked at her father's firm and loved her horse. Just two or three sentences to fill 20 years. It was clear that she'd struggled and ultimately took her own life but I am sad that I, and others, somehow missed being a part of her 'what is'.
I know we can't be there for everyone. I know that life doesn't always happen the way we want it to. It is certainly not all neat, tidy and happy all of the time. But I hope that we can be there for someone. I hope that we don't skate through the 'what is' in our lives and that we take the time to be aware of it. To be mindful of our place in the world and the impact we can have on others. So stop buying too many bananas, or working too many hours, or holding on to the past or dreaming too much about the future. Live the 'what is' to the fullest. Be present. Be focused. Be patient. Be loving. Our past will always be there. Our future is coming whether we like it or not. So take the time to enjoy the 'is' and make someone else's better too. Take the time to let them know that you know they're a part of your life and that you're grateful for your place in it.
Thank you all for being a part of my 'was', 'is' and 'yet to bes'. I'm so happy God has given me this life and abundantly thankful for the people He has put in it.
What part of your 'is' are you grateful for?
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