Sometimes the quietest moments come amidst chaos and loudness. Sometimes a little voice pops into your head and a thought or memory takes you to another place or another time.
Seventeen is my favorite number for many reasons. One of those reasons is because it was the day of my birth. It was a moment in a month and a year. The way we write our calendar dates it is encompassed in the middle. It is a reminder that no matter what has happened before that there are moments to come. But the day itself, the moment, is still important. Seventeen reminds me to live in the moment and to appreciate it. When I am mindful of the moment those little voices or thoughts find their way to my head and to my heart.
Inevitably, some of those moments are bittersweet and sometimes they take away a little of my air. I was standing among a thousand people waiting for the Resolution Run to start, headphones in my ears drowning out the noise around me, taking a deep breath to focus on my running when the realization dawned on me that this was a new year and that I was embarking on a year that wouldn't have my friend Kellie in it. Through the course of that wave of emotion, I could appreciate that I had had her in my life even as I allowed myself to grieve once more. I am glad her pain is over. I am blessed beyond measure by the friendships that were created and strengthened because of her. Being in that moment was a God breeze for me and I was grateful for the time to remember as I ran the course. I miss her. It is unfamiliar and uncomfortable to think of life without her and others we've lost. But I have sweet memories to hold on to.
My mom and I went to the Singalong Sound of Music at the 5th Avenue Theater the other night. At one point as we were laughing and singing, I was struck in the moment of the precious memory we were making. As I listened to her strong, clear voice, as I have so many times in my life, I was struck by the fact that even though the day will come (hopefully in the VERY distant future) when I no longer have my mom with me physically, that whenever I hear those songs they will be forever tied to her and in that way, she will always be with me. I am indebted to that moment and that realization.
Whenever I see or hear a 17 it serves as a touchstone and reminder to recognize the moment. They pop up in the most unlikely of places. What are the chances that my first job as a teacher would land me in room 17. There were three classrooms it could have been. The memories that have been made there and the bond that my students have to that number now is creating its own reminder for them.
It is easy to get caught up in how busy we are or to become complacent in the redundancy of our daily routines. It is easy to let moments and memories escape us. It is easy to let time and money and bitterness and resentment and worry distract us from living in the moment and appreciating the blessings and even the trials we've been given.. What is your 17? What can you use as a reminder to breathe and recognize the memories you're creating? Do you live intentionally?
My hope is that 2015 will bring memories and moments to your life that feed your soul and heart and that we will all be still enough to see and hear them. Until next time.
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