Full Circle

Me (age 20) and
 Ciara (about 2months before birth)

Twenty years ago I was pregnant and single. Living in my parents house and struggling to figure life out, I wondered what God had in store for me and my yet unborn child. Things weren't really working out with her father (we were both 19 when I got pregnant) and the thought of settling down just because of our situation didn't set well with either of us. After Ciara was born we went our separate ways - much of that was my decision because I needed a commitment he wasn't willing or able to give. Our contact with each other was minimal, if non-existent and limited to me sending him photos once a year, or giving them to his mom and sister. We saw them (his mom and sister) just about every Christmas for a visit.

Our Engagement Photo

Enter Gary. I met him while going to school at the UW and working at the Parks Department. He was a volunteer coach for the Special Olympics Basketball teams I was working with. I'm still not quite sure he knew what he was getting into with me but he jumped in with both feet. He wanted both Ciara and I to know how much he loved us and chose to adopt Ciara so that we would both have his name. After we were married we had to wait an official year for the adoption to be complete. When we changed Ciara's name we kept her middle name as Joy Randall so that the piece of her and I that had been alone would always be there and, because we wanted the Randall name to go on, not knowing if my brother would ever get married or have kids.

Jon, Amy and Logan, along with
Candice, Ciara and me

Fast forward several years and add Scott to our growing family. In the 6th grade Ciara met her biological father for the first time. He was expecting his first child with his wife and had a growing appreciation for family. We continued to see him once a year or so and their correspondence via email grew. He came, along with other family, to her 6th grade moving on ceremony and our families began blending themselves. Throughout middle school and high school Ciara would see Jon once or twice a year. Around her junior year  his sister, Candice, with whom we'd had fairly regular contact (because she lived up here), lost her job and we benefitted from the opportunity to see her more and spend more time together. We spent an increasing amount of time together during Ciara's senior year and she truly grew to be my sister outlaw (not inlaw since Jon and I had never been married.) Jon and I also resolved our differences and grew to be friends. Ciara enjoyed getting to know her half brother, Logan.



Steve and Ciara



Candice,me, Ciara, Brandon, Jon
and Gary.





As Ciara's senior year drew to a close it was somehow fitting that all of us celebrate her graduation together. Jon came up from Oregon (his wife Amy was too close to her due date with their second child) and Candice came as well. My parents and brother were there. It was an opportunity for my brother Steve to see Jon for the first time since Ciara had been born and the first time he met Candice.  (He'd still been in high school when Jon and I dated.)



Because it was our last summer with Ciara (and because the wheels in my head started turning) - we spent a lot of time all together doing races, going for hikes/bike rides and just having fun. I think at one point Candice made a comment about Steve being single and at some point Steve asked me the same about her. It wasn't until September that I think things took a more serious turn and they decided to date 'for real'. All of us were cautious as there were so many relational dynamics to consider - Ciara didn't want to lose her aunt (or her uncle), I didn't want to lose my outlaw or have stress with my brother if things didn't work out and they didn't want to upset any of those relationships either. We couldn't deny, however, how good they were for each other and how happy they were.

Candice and Steve
in December




Ciara and her Springstead
brothers, Brody and Logan

Ciara went off to school and Steve and Candice continued to get to know each other and date. Ciara, as a result of being closer to where Jon lives got to spend a few long weekends with his family and enjoyed being the big sister to Brody who'd been born shortly after she graduated and Logan, who was in first grade. When she came home in May from her freshman year of college it was pretty certain in everyone's minds that my brother and my outlaw were pretty serious. At the end of June, he proposed. After a twenty year journey, the Randalls and the Springsteads will be united in marriage in a way none of us could have forseen but that would never have been possible if Jon and I hadn't had a relationship so many years ago. Candice will be my outlaw and my in-law, and she'll be Ciara's aunt by marriage and biology, Steve will be Logan and Brody's uncle (by marriage). Yes, trying to keep track of the family tree might be a little confusing. But I know that even when I couldn't see a reason why I was going through things so long ago, God knew. God also knew the healing that would take place in hurting hearts, that relationships would be restored, that the kids would bring joy to all of us and that our blessings would be too many too count. When we don't know the answers, or what to do, God does.We just have to trust and leave ourselves open to possibilities. I am so excited for what the future holds and to add to our family - or at least to blend them. And I'm sending out HUGE love and good wishes to my brother and outlaw. I love you Steve and Candice!!!! What blessings are around the corner? Stay tuned!!!

The newly engaged couple